Obama and Clinton Lawyer Up Over Newly-Released Benghazi Documents

The Clintons and Obamas are stacking a wall of lawyers between them and the newly-released Benghazi documents, expected to hit the streets sometime this week. According to sources close to the Clintons, they’ve had to double their efforts.

One friend told us that Hillary, who spends much of her time in her basement office plotting to murder people who get in her way, has had to rely on old friends from Arkansas, even though she swore she’d never go back there.

As for Barack Hussein Obama, he and Mike are planning to hire Art Tubolls, the lawyer that got Bill Cosby’s conviction tossed. Tubolls says he’s prepping for a long fight:

“The public doesn’t just get to see what a President sees. They get to see what the president wants them to see. Except Trump, of course. Somehow, that guy manages to be transparent all the time.”

Even Obama’s lawyer is jealous of Trump, patriots. That says something. You can read the full story of the court’s order here:

Appeals Judge Strikes Down Executive Privilege, Unseals Benghazi Documents 18 Years Early

We’re gonna get to the truth at some point, patriots. Now I asked around, and nobody here could remember why we were so upset about Benghazi, so I did some searching, and it would seem all the neat stuff we wrote about the event was bullshit.

So, we figured we’d go ahead and stick with tradition. If you say something enough times, you can create an alternate reality. That’s how you achieve status as a journalisticator.

Benghazi was bad, patriots. They went to sleep, but not before they said “let them rot” with an evil grin. Now they must pay. Or something.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 74 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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