It was a sad day in Queeferton, Louisiana yesterday in the small town of Peanut Log. Just down the street from the local bail bonds entrepreneur and one office away from the home base of the “Cousin Huggin'” dating app, the Chow gynecology clinic stands quiet and morose.
James Chow was seventy-one years old just last week when he told his wife of seventy years LaFonda, that he’d started planning to retire. As a vagina doctor to the stars, he’d made enough money to finally buy a hovercraft and shoot off to Skull Island to pursue his lifelong dream of capturing King Kong.
As THE vagina doctor to several first ladies, Michelle Obama included, he’d made both a name, and a finger for himself. Patriot reporter Joe Barron spoke during a press conference announcing the physician’s passing.
“James was really the inside man in the White House. For many years. I remember when he described working for the Bush’s as: ‘Like playing tiddltywinks with a bazooka and a tic tac.’ He really had a way with words, the doc. And squishing ham wallets. He will be missed.”
Chow was recognized by Obama in 2012 for his tendency to go above and beyond the call of duty when it came to vaginas. It’s why he earned the nickname “Quiver Ditch Pitcher.”
Chow passed away just yesterday from Pussinosis, which is a viral disease caused by the keeping of vaginal fluids in a vape pen cartridge and smoking it.