Obama’s Ramadan Celebration Goes All Night

FINALLY!

Ramadan is the ninth calendar month of the year for the Islamic religion, as well as the holiest.  One of the five pillars of Islam, it is believed to be the month when the prophet Mohammed discovered the very first books of the faith.

Taking place around April, Ramadan is extremely important to Muslims.  That’s both the first and second clue an avid reader may have that this article is satirical and meant to blow the balls directly off Trumper’s midsections.

“Hey guys! Take a picture! I’m trying to jump start Jim Jordan’s pacemaker!”

Ramadan is still four months away, and the Obama’s aren’t Muslim.  The teabaggers think so and don’t know when the festival is anyway.  They’re basically like if we’d taught barnacles to drive pick up trucks and yammer “Maga Trump Do Your Homework Tide Pods Communism” over and over.

In a related story, journalist and family friend Sandy Batt says the Obama’s had a very low-key traditional Christmas dinner at home.

“They sat down and ate together, and it was wonderful.  They even invited Trump because he’s been having problems with his harem and they didn’t want him to be alone for the holidays.  But, he tossed the invitation and reportedly spent the evening alone in his mommy’s basement eating hot pockets and scowling like a dick.”

It was a delightful holiday and one for the books.  Now, as America takes Sunday off before returning to New Year’s Eve week, we reflect on the good times that the season brought.  Rejoice and ponder, people.

Except for you Trumpers. You keep raging, porn stars.  Someday someone will listen to you.

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