Michelle To Host New Year’s Eve Ball Drop

WHAT???

It’s nearly the year 2022, folks!  Some people would say that’s just two more years away from Donald Trump becoming President again.  Some people would say that John F. Kennedy Jr. will be at his side while he dances with Lady Di in the Titanic’s ballroom.

MTG believes that Trump will issue forth on God’s breath and land on a soft and warm cushion of fish bladders.

Every year end, the population is treated to Dick Clark’s “Rockin’ New Years Eve” festival, a celebration of the time gone by and the days coming in the future.  While Clark himself sadly falls into the former category, his legacy lives on with other guests to foot the bill and cheer us all on.

This year, the announcement has been made by Paramount, MGM, Disney, and Warner Brothers that New Years Eve festivities will be hosted by none other than beloved former First Lady, bestselling author, and icon Michelle Obama.  It’s an Obamanatin’ New Years eve.

Head of Televised Chicanery, Joe Barron, told the media that she was the natural choice to emcee this year’s event.

“Michelle Obama is an extremely popular person, especially with the segment of the population that believes in actually cognitating.   Most of the dumb Trumpers and conservatards have convinced themselves that ‘she’s a man’ or some other nonsense because a capable black woman is as foreign to them as deodorant.”

Writers and proliferaters of the America’s Last Line of Defense network are well aware that the headline of this article is like a sugar lick to a retarded cow for comments of transgender-phobic nature, but it’s a small price to pay to see the ones where they claim to have proof that Sasha and Malia are somehow not the Obama’s children.

“MY dad was George Soros! Want a couple of continents?”

So is she really hosting the New Years Eve “ball drop”?  No, not at all.  But will the brain dead conspiracy-minded crew of backwards and dusty old chimpcheroos comment like crazy after picking up on the word “ball” like two year olds?

I’d bet my hat they will.  And I love my hat.

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