2021 is almost over, my friends, which somehow, plausible only inside the air-filled noggin of a trumptarded conservative dinglepit, means it’s time for the Person of the Decade announcement.
Any sane human would support the obvious choices of Neil Peart or Corey Feldman for such an honor, but alas, this last decade has fallen victim to none other than two-time election thief and America destroyer Barack Hussain Obama. Hillary Clinton apparently forgot to fill out the email form to become eligable.
Head Decider for Liberal Conspiracy Time Magazine, Joe Barron, described what exactly makes Obama the absolute King of the twenty-teens:
“Its his coolness, it’s his style, baby. His Presidency was just the tip of the iceberg. Two terms, like a maestro of the people. The guy slammed the Affordable Care Act straight down the Republican’s throats so hard that their kids will be shitting out health care options for another century.”
Barron went on, describing the former commander in chief’s personality, charitability, and huge dangling genitalia.
“Obama’s presidential library is going to contain hundreds of copies of Donald Trump’s books, baby. You know why? Because they’re going to be wanting to keep the bathrooms stocked. Am I right? The man is unabashedly the captain of the Cool Brigade, and he’s ordering us all to stand at attention. Viva Obama!”
“Cool brigade” or no, quite a few people in the opposing “party” are pretty upset by having their squishiest nightmare receive top honors : maybe none more so than human gorilla costume Donald Trump:
“It disgusts me, people. That’s what it does. Like when Melania takes a dump in the morning and closes the door on me. Very unfriendly. Very. Unfriendly. You know with theses women, sometimes they’re like chocolate rabbits, okay? You gotta bite their heads off first and f*ck them later. Not sure what that means. Ey! Where’s my kid, Brandon, or whatever?”
Congratulations, Mr. Obama. We hope you can continue melting the conservative brains until the end of this decade too.