Obama Next To Go To Space

WOW.

Billionaire Richard Branson was elated during his press conference after returning from a brief trip into space on his privately owned and funded craft.  Describing a dream that had been brewing since childhood, his high spirits were undeniably infectious.

Today, that dream is about to come true for another grown boy waiting to touch the stars.  President Barack Obama.  The retired Democratic leader has announced that he will be the next amateur astronaut to fly via Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo into the heights of the upper atmosphere and just lightly into low orbit of the earth.

     “Because all you teabaggers are IDIOTS!”

Sandy Batt of The Trumptard Creativity Commission offered up some predictions of the comments and statements that will undoubtedly be made by the hateful old dipshits who will fall for this fictional tale, and take the time out of their oatmeal orgies long enough to reply from their Jitterbug phones.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll see plenty of ‘Good, let him stay their’, or the like.  Those geniuses still haven’t managed to learn the whole ‘there’, ‘their’, and ‘they’re’ stuff.  I’ll bet at least a few suggest that the ‘aliens can have him’, which is the height of comedy for Trumptard imaginations.”

“I’m getting at least a couple will comment that they hope it blows up.  The Trump crowd is a well-known murderous cult, who sides with the killer in any controversy.  They’ll be a bunch suggesting people he should take with him.  His family.  Pelosi.  The usual.  It’ll be typical dumbassery from the typical gullible twits.”

It would be pretty cool if Obama did become the first Presisdent in space, though.  You know Bush would poop himself, Clinton would pass out for the whole thing, and Trump would probably think the whole thing was fake and try to walk out the door.

“And then I get all the adderall and cocaine. I’m the main hair to the fortune.”

Come to think of it, that might be the best idea for Mission One of the Space Force, right there.

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