‘O.P.A.C.’ Set to Debut in May


As the celebrations and speeches from the latest Conservative Political Action Conference fade away into Florida’s ether, America’s Democratic party is gearing up for their new answer to a weekend jamboree, the first annual O.P.A.C. – a similar gathering sponsored entirely by liberal powerhouses Oprah Winfrey and Barack Hussein Obama.

Cocaine detecting canines will constantly monitor the arena to keep out Donald Trump Jr.

Set to premiere in May and eyed for appearing in Berkeley, California, the O.P.A.C. will feature a veritable who’s who of the political left. According to Sandy Batt of the Planned Parenthood Third Term Yankers society, the patron city of free love and marijuana trafficking has already excitedly agreed to host.

“Its going to make CPAC look like the dusty old Klan bake sale that it was.  We’re not going to have any golden ‘Tickle-me Trump’ dolls at our party.  We will be featuring a block-long mural painted by free speech artisan Banksy portraying President Obama and his family shaking hands with Jesus Christ in his manger.  Oprah is also planning to donate millions of dollars worth of prizes to attendees, including new cars, small private islands, and coupons for free transgender surgeries.  It’s going to be like Burning Man, only not sexist.  ‘Burning Person.'”

The event is planned to last the entire third weekend of the month, and scheduled speakers include Representitive Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, Chuck Schumer, and of course, Winfrey and the Obamas.  The Bidens along with Kamala Harris will round out the show for a fireworks-studded third day conclusion.

Already confirmed for musical performances are lefty celebrities Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Drake, the Imagine Dragons, and Canadian hitmakers Men Without Hats.

Hard rock band Guns-N-Roses has declined, citing vocalist Axl Rose’s condition as a living circus tent full of oatmeal.

Reports are unconfirmed of a rumor regarding a special appearance of a reunion of the cast of beloved television program “Firefly” to perform a never-before-seen episode live at the celebration.  Such an amazing showstopper would, if true, definitely blow away it’s racist and drooling conservative counterpart – with the speed of a Capistan engine.  Do YOU aim to misbehave?

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