Obama Buys Benghazi Victim’s Watch at Auction

UNBELIEVABLE!

Just when you thought the tragedy and outrage of the Benghazi event was over, along comes a tale that will fire your memory back up.

Former President Barack Obama was confirmed as the highest bidder this weekend, for a deluxe Swatch brand timepiece once belonging to Lieutenant Sanders Batt, one of the victims of the attack that took place on September 11th in Benghazi, Argentina, 2011.  The watch was recovered from the site and used as evidence by Trey Gowdy in one of his several money-wasting investigations.

Gowdy, seen here masturbating in 2012 during research into Hillary Clinton’s sleep patterns.

The auction, sponsored by Mike Lindell’s newest venture “CrackComforters.com”, also included locks of JFK’s pubic hair, a camera lens from the “moon landing” film produced by NASA and Columbia pictures, and one of Alex Jones’s estranged children. Obama reportedly won the piece for $22.00.

“It was absolutely stunning that he’d actually have the cohones to show up there, let alone bid,” said Jon Guluv, a beer-can artist from Queefsburgh, Alabama, and witness to the scene.  “I couldn’t believe it at first, because all them fellas look the same to me.  But no, it was Obama all right.  I know because I heard him a talkin’ and had to look up some of the words on my phone.”

The auction was held at a Sotheby’s Outlet Location in a strip mall near the Itchy Kitty gentleman’s club off of route 75 in Florida. It is a historic site, once owned by failed President Donald Trump’s grandfather for use as a factory producing armbands for the German army during the second world war.

Trump family friend Sean Spicer wore a dress made entirely from them during a press dance in 2017.

It’s not clear whether the sacred timepiece even works, but for that kind of dough, Obama must have wanted it pretty badly.  Does it somehow contain a previously unfound clue that could she’d more light on the attack and push even more teabaggers into embarrassing themselves as human beings?  That theory is going once…going twice…

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