The second Senate impeachment trial for former President Donald Trump is moving quite a bit faster to conclusion than the first, due to lack of time as well as the circumstances of it’s necessity being largely visible to the public. Already, the courtroom is rapidly being reassembled, summons sent out, and positions set with a very palpable eye to convict.
To this end, Impeachment Manager Sandra Batt has chosen a virtual “dream team” of legal minds to make absolutely sure that Trump is properly charged and sentenced this time, and prepared to go up against the disgraced leader’s Keystone Koppish crew of bubbleheaded barristers.
Even though most halfwitted teabaggers believe Barack Obama somehow “lost” his license to practice law through various fairy tale hijinks they read about on GullibleDipshit dot com, the former non-embarrassing President will take charge, Batt says, just to make certain.
“It’s a double boot in the balls for Trump to have to sit in that courtroom again, knowing his support from his cockbat followers has evaporated, and also that his better, Obama, will be in command of the ultimate Roast. I mean, the guy ran the Harvard Law Review. Guliani can barely run a microwave. That Powell sleestak is about as sharp as a sock full of soup, and Gowdy’s record is what – ninety and 0? I’ll just go ahead and bet on black with this one.”
Many in the Trump camp confided early on to having confidence in legal secret weapon Lin Wood, until observation of his last four year’s worth of statements appraised them of the fact that the guy is about as cracked as Edward James Olmos’s complexion in a funhouse mirror.
Obama has already gleefully accepted the challenge, but will he be up to it, after all this time in retirement? Well, sources have told the media that he’s already ordered Fema to sharpen up those guillotines.