NBC Offers Obama New Reboot of ‘The Apprentice’

WHAT???

You may recall back to nearly ten years ago, before Donald Trump surprised the world by becoming President of the United States, he was the host and main character of a television reality program called : “The Apprentice.”  The show featured run of the mill contestants and later, celebrities, vying to impress the Donald in order to win employment with one of his businesses.

Now, however, after Trump failed so completely and publicly and his fraudulent business practices and fictional “fortune” have been exposed, NBC has passed by the morbidly obese con man as they plan to revive the show, and laughingly shit on his shoes on the way.

Meanwhile, Mike Pence is already assistant manager of crab legs in the seafood department.

Head of Programming Joe Barron explained in an interview with TV Queef Magazine, why the network has offered the show to former President Barack Obama instead of its former ratings draw.

“We’re going with Obama for obvious reasons.  He’s better looking.  Personable.  Has a personality that isn’t annoying and douchey like Trump’s.  He was actually a great President and didn’t spend four years happily showing the entire world what an obnoxious dickhead he was like that fat boy failure.  I’m positive Americans as a whole are glad he’s OFF television, finally.  Hell, I wouldn’t let that shitlord pull lottery balls.”

“SORRY! Sorry! I thought someone said ‘eight balls’.”

Executives working on the set design and technical aspects of the upcoming show say Obama has not yet made a decision to host, but note that the salary they’re offering is more than twice what the former shitty President Trump’s was.  He would also take a large percentage of licensing, merchandise, and syndication profits.

America’s memories of Obama have slowly begun to replace the nightmares of the Trump mistake.  But can 44’s winning style also replace Donald’s place in popular culture?  We’ll just have to tune in and see if Mr. Obama can put some zing into his new catchphrase : “You’re impeached!”

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