The battle against the pandemic crisis of the Covid-19 virus is about to turn it’s first major tide. Although the two vaccines developed by rival pharmaceutical companies haven’t been scheduled for widespread distribution until early next year and were intended to first treat emergency responders and medical professionals, former President Obama and his family will be the first American recipients to be publicly inoculated as a gesture of confidence and solidarity to ease the anxiety of the citizenry.
The first dose of what Pfizer has dubbed “The Biden Vaccine” will be administered this weekend with a second follow-up to used after two week’s time. The Biden Vaccine, unlike outgoing President Trump, has been tested to operate at over ninety-five percent efficiency.
Viral expert Dr. Joseph Barron has his doubts about the choice of the Obamas as an example, however, being a strong supporter of the Trump administration who received his medical degree from the former leader’s own defunct fraudulent educational institution.
“At Trump University, we studied vaccines for over seven minutes,” Barron confided to the Johns-Hopkins Queefalator. “And what I know is that a lot of emphasis is placed on how to shrink the secret microchips down small enough to come out of the hole in a needle. We were taught that people like Bill Gates only own a few shrinking machines, with one already purchased by Disney for the Ant Man movies. I think it’s going to be very difficult for the Obamas to be properly treated. Especially with whatever the Kenyan race uses for blood.”
Trump University education aside, the beloved first family is confident in the efficiency of the vaccine, and have stated that they intend to immediately dance maskless through the streets once the compound is in their systems. It’s going to be an historic event for the Obamas to once again lead Aamerica into the future it deserves, out of the deathly fog that Donald Trump single-handedly crafted.