Obama Claims His Grandfather Fought in WW2


They call it: “The Big One” ; When Adolf Hitler ran his megalomaniacal campaign across Europe and the Pacific in a bold attempt to consolidate power for his Aryan fever dreams and power, a violent march to reshape the world in his own image.  Stopped only by the intervention of our brave soldiers and with a little help from the Soviets, the madman fell by his own hand, defeated by the very ones he felt were inferior.

Hitler’s evil rollout of artificially intelligent fighting vehicles were eventually defeated by filling their gas tanks with Irish coffee.

World War 2 was the last “good war”, where the sides were laid out plain and simple, good versus evil, Allies and Axis, Buckaroo Banzai and the World Crime League.  And according to former President and American icon Barack Obama, his grandfather Fragglerack Obama was there in the thick of it.

During a speech at the Joe Barron Auditorium in Queefpark, Virginia for the annual veteran’s buffet and minigolf tournament last week, Obama made the revelation, describing a time when Americans came together for the sake of the world.

“When my grandfather led the second battalion of Easy Company through the battlefields in France, he wasn’t fighting for Democrats or Republicans.  He was fighting for freedom in all the free countries across the globe.  Folks weren’t divided back then into normal rational people and delusional morons supporting an incompetent shitbag like Donald Trump.  That’s the time America was great.  That’s the attitude we need to bring back again.  Unity.  My grandfather died for old white people.  It’s now those old white people need to step up and support ridding their country of the fat Hitler that walks among them.  Donald ‘fourth reich’ Trump.”

His high school class voted him : “Most Likely to Become a Second Moon.”

Obama’s fiery speech was greeted by cheers and applause from the assembled group of real veterans who were able to recognize a maniacal bumbletard during the last two elections when they saw one.  Among a sea of Hillary and Biden signs, our brave men and women made their voices heard.



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