Michelle to Replace Barr As AG on Day One

UNBELIEVABLE!

Presedent-elect Joe Biden isn’t wasting any time on setting up his administration.  According to Democratic insiders, he’s already chosen much of the upper echelon of his crew, including Secretaries of both state and defense, and is heavily leaning towards appointing former First lady Michelle Obama as his attorney General, ousting Trump lackey Bill Barr immediately on day one of his term.

Sean Spicer has already made up his spare futon as a gesture of “friendship”.

Mrs. Obama, a bestselling author and accomplished lifelong attorney, is highly respected in legal circles and beloved by the far left.  Although many poorly-informed supporters of President Trump believe she and her husband “lost” their licenses to practice, more intelligent Americans are aware that this is a falsehood, and rightfully mock such throwbacks as the gullible bumbletwats that they are.

Joe Barron of the American Potato League explained why Michelle would be an excellent choice, and why Barr will be retiring in a house in a Craftmaster adjustable bed set to squish him into a fat human taco.

“Barr has a very public and unabashed history of being a slimy fixer specifically for Republican Presidents.   He urged the pardons and justice-less freeing of everyone involved with Iran/Contra for Reagan and followed up by covering for the elder Bush not soon afterwards.  He’s done far more to dismiss the crimes of Donald Trump, and with even greater impunity.  The man is about as crooked as a Pixi-stick in a tornado.  Michelle Obama will make a far better arbiter of justice than he did because she has intelligence, sense, and most of all, a moral center, unlike Barr, who is more or less a blob of evil white pudding with glasses.  Good riddance.”

Barr’s wife Bertha awaits his return, seen here in her newest dinner clothing.

Friends of Mr. Barr have expressed the belief that the sickenly compromised bought-off corrupt lawyer is actually relieved at the prospect of no longer twisting reality on a daily basis to protect Trump.  It’s a safe bet Michelle will bring class and respect back to the office Barr so blatantly abused.

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