Biden Will Put Michelle Obama In Charge of School Lunches Again

Joe Biden says he wants to get us “back on track” to a bold and healthy new world.

To get started, he says he’ll be asking Michelle Obama to head the National School Lunch Department over at the FDIC, and get the country’s kids back on track to lead healthier, happier lives.

The problem is, we all remember what happened last time. We remember the hot dog with the apple and the carton of obviously sub-par milk.

Michelle Obama’s school lunch standards may have been superb, but how they were implemented turned out to be a disaster.

How can something like this happen? It was an Obama, that’s how. Michelle made the mistake of trusting that people — especially when dealing with kids, would care about the spirit of a wellness program more than political theater.

In what may be the single worst thing human beings can do, officials in red states and rural areas outside of normal civilization took the guidelines of a well-thought-out program and strip-mined it to its bare minimum requirements, feeding that to kids with cell phones who were sure to spread the news of the horrible Michelle Obama lunches far and wide.

It was pretty silly, and now they want to do it all over again.

Unfortunately, the result last time was a hillbilly population willing to come out of the woodwork with their truck flags to vote for a failed businessman and a third-rate reality TV star.

Hopefully, they’ll replace that processed meat log and ketchup with the grilled chicken over rice with a fresh vegetable it could have been.

It won’t matter. Kids will continue asking for the least they can have and then eating the bun before tasking a picture so they can make daddy proud as long as there are…well…truck flags.

God bless your hearts, patriots.

About Flagg Eagleton 54 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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