The great communist Kingdom of China is an ancient and mysterious land, it’s history rooted in a deep sense of honor and platitudes. This attitude has prevailed even into the current geopolitical arena, with President Xi Jinping, the historically popular leader making his own demands and requirements through the so-called “decorum” of leadership.
Citing recent negotiations regarding trade deals and the manipulation of tariffs levied by both American President Donald Trump and his own trade ministry, the gruff-faced leader instructed his kingdom monetary official, Joe Barron Chang, only to negotiate, deal, or even make any pertinent statements to former President Barack Obama. The reason? Honor.
“This person, this Trump,” Chang opined at the United Nations 85th Annual Pajama Jammy Jam, “Knows nothing of honor. In our country he is called ‘Ping Dong Mook’, which is ‘Great unbathed penisless ape’. There is no respect or honor to be given this person. We very much prefer the class and intelligence of your Barack Obama who speaks with wise words and not animal grunts. We will speak only with the Obama about matters of economic policy, military choices, and legal importance. China will afford no value to the words of Trump, but is willing in the future to deal with his honorable lieutenant Biden when he emerges victorious in your coming election. Next best thing. Do you want your cheap Metallica concert T-shirts for ten dollars in the parking lot, or not?”
Obama has responded through aides to assure the Chinese government that he would be more than willing to handle diplomatic duties with the juggernaut nation. He added a soothing statement that Joe Biden would soon replace the current moron pretending to speak for America.
As much as some may feel fear and anger towards China, as our biggest trading partner and owner of a preponderance of our national debt, the relationship between our nations is of critical importance. Too important perhaps, to entrust to a penisless ape.