Malia Obama Arrested For Assaulting a Police Officer

Malia Obama, Barack Hussein Obama’s oldest daughter, was arrested today. Again.

Our source, who may or may not know about the incident, says that she heard from her mother-in-law, that her nephew personally arrested Ms. Obama.

The source went on to say that Malia, who wasn’t involved in the original incident that caused the police presence, came forward and told one of the officers that the man he was currently harassing was a friend of hers.

That was when the officer grabbed her, threw her to the ground, and in the process, his face made contact with what he described as “an open fist.”

At that point, Malia was handcuffed for her own safety and was later arrested with the added charge of resisting after the officer said she refused to tell him how much she weighed and what size cup she wore. She also reportedly refused to give him her email address or phone number.

Those are, of course, all very common things police can ask for, and by not complying, Malia was risking her own life. At that point, the officer may have been warranted in using deadly force.

Barack Hussein Obama says the entire incident was ridiculous and that he looks forward to these imbeciles paying Malia’s $70K tuition bill to Harvard next year.

It just goes to show you, that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and that you can take the daughter from the White House, but you just know she probably stole something on the way out.

The charges were dropped about 11 minutes after Malia was booked and the officer involved has been offered a sweet retirement package. He’s 28.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton 51 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

Be the first to comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.