Barack Obama has shown the world that he’s not a good father. What’s more, now, he’s proven to be even less of a husband.
The former president was caught with Senator Cory Booker in the early evening, sneaking out through the back of a building.
It’s been suspected for years that something has been going on between the two for years. Every time they see each other, they engage in one of those awkward bro hugs.
Awkward bro hugs are not the only suspicious activity between the pair, though. They’ve been seen on long paddleboat rides.
Michelle seems to be gaining suspicion as to her husband’s whereabouts recently. According to our reporter, Sandy Batt, things are getting hostile:
“We spied on an important people dinner through the window. When Michelle Obama saw Cory, she flung him across the room.
She then body-slammed him through a table while screaming like what we can only interpret as a mix of Hulk Hogan and the Hulk himself.
I left before I was next.”
It’s no surprise to us that Michelle is capable of such moves. Have you seen those man arms?
Since the dinner incident, Cory Booker and Barack Obama have seemingly become even more obvious.
The two have been seen participating in an event called, “We Like to Sing Romantic Songs With Other Dudes.”
According to everybody there that night, they did a very heartfelt rendition of Taylor Swift’s Love Story, followed by You Belong With Me.
Recently, a hacker that may or may not have been in contact with Russia managed to get into Booker’s phone.
Pretty quickly, he noted that his contact for Obama was “Barackin’ My World” with several emojis, six of which were eggplants.
At this point, they’re not even trying to cover it up. Perhaps President Obama was too busy trying to hide his real birth certificate to care.