Making news across the world, a major victory in the challenge of creating peace in the middle east – The Trump administration announced with pride, the normalization of relations between Israel and the United Arab Emigrates for the first time ever. The Arab nation, after exhaustive negotiations involving Jared Kushner and President Trump, now stands with the Jewish nation against Iran. And Obama is taking the credit.
The former President made light of the deal this morning, contending that it had “been in the works” for years, beginning under his guidance, and represented yet another case of Trump trying to hog all the credit for something he had no part in. He contends that Kushner, a failed businessman that serves as penis to the first daughter, merely called family friend and serial killer Saudi Arabian leader Mohammed Bin Salmon and begged for the throwing of a bone before his father-in-law loses the 2020 election.
“My administration, through Hillary Clinton and John Kerry had been carefully constructing the framework for this deal. Trump thinks ‘U.A.E.’ stands for ‘Unbelievable Ass Eating’. Yeah, I’m sure it was really hard to get Saudi Arabia’s friend who already hates Iran to hate Iran some more after selling a shit ton of weapons to them. Way to go, Jared. Golf clap. Now your miraculous plan for peace will embolden the Palestinian authority to more action. Possibly towards US now after you’re desperately over publicizing it. Good job, dipshit.”
The liberal media as well have downplayed the deal as a good, but somewhat un-game-changing accomplishment, while outlets like Fox News are pretending it improves the President’s re-election chances, as if his medically brain-damaged followers understand even a bit of it beyond slobbering : “We have to help the Jews because Muslims Armageddon revelations bagels Jesus fiddler on the roof.”
Is this a miraculous step towards peace in a troubled region that America has always stumbled in before, or is it a minor toehold that was set up by the previous administration anyway and bound to happen, yet another deflection of Trump’s fragile ego to pretend he’s not a mentally handicapped loser? Jared Kushner would remind you that he was Bar Mitzvahed in the back of a Chuck E. Cheese and leave it at that.