Barack Obama has kept himself busy since he’s retired from American political life. And well-off. His lucrative Netflix deal, book contract, and constant influx of millions made on the public speaking circuit have kept him comfortable and secure.
However, some controversy has begun to grow from, of all things, a free gaming app available on the Obama foundation’s website that allows the player to put himself in the shoes of a soldier during the terrorist attack in Benghazi Libya. The software has been up for less than a week and has already garnered more than eleventy billion hits and raised over sixteen dozen-hundred dollars.
Sandy Batt of Blasty Nasty, the company responsible for creating and maintaining the game told media sources that it was uploaded simply to provide entertainment and shouldn’t be seen with any kind of political or historical context.
“What we did with the game is really kind of try to convince trumptards that Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton had no fault in the attacks, even though after a dozen hearings and investigations confirming that reality, they still, to this day, believe otherwise because they’re schizophrenic teabagging mental deficients. We basically designed it as a ‘no-win situation’, like a modern day Kobyashi Maru. Like the actual event. Nothing could have been done differently that wouldn’t have resulted in further loss of life. I’m sure the Trump Rubber Room Brigade will beg to differ because they saw some memes on the Joe the Plumber Facebook page and saw a movie by the guy who made Transformers, so they’re instant experts on the matter.”
Batt and the Obama’s are acutely aware that even the mention of “Benghazi” is to trumptards what parading out some hookers with full bladders is to Donald Trump – a buffet for morons. But they’re not worried the game will cause any strife to anyone important.
“I know,” Obama himself commented, “Big surprise those dickhead throwbacks are upset over something. Maybe we should send binkies to their safe spaces in their mommy’s basements.”