Obama Claims Benghazi Victims Are Still Alive

ARE YOU KIDDING?

Even years later, all Americans remember the terrible tragedy that occurred at the embassy in Benghazi, Libya.  But a great many aren’t privy to the true story of the terrorist attack that day.  A large percentage of teabaggers, or “morons”, still believe, even after eleven Republican-led investigations and mountains of evidence to the contrary, that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton somehow botched the response.  As a reminder, these are the same people who are now defending an incredibly incompetent President whose staggering stupidity is responsible for nearly 200,000 citizens dying from a treatable pandemic.

This photo marks the first time Trump put something in his mouth that wasn’t funneled down a urine bag first.

In our newest fictional tale of outrage, more absolute nonsense has appeared, as former President Obama went to a fundraiser or did an interview with something a trumptard would never read like Vanity Fair, or some shit, and went right ahead and blurted out that all four of those supposed victims were alive and well.  Cue the slobbering old banana gummers outrage now.

Joe Barron, representing the Society for Housebound Idiot Teabaggers says that he thinks fictional Obama may have just as much of a point as the dipshitted Trumptards and Q-jackasses do with their pretend facts.

“It could be possible.  I mean, what if Ambassador Stevens…and…thise other three guys…what If they all hid under dumpsters like Glen did in The Walking Dead in that episode where everybody thought he was dead but he wasn’t?  Now sure, that’s some Alex Jones bullshit.  But bullshit is the trumptard’s bread and butter.  They’ll believe anything.  Why not this?  According to absolutely nothing Obama said, they could be bagging your groceries or rubbing blended pig’s nuts into Melania Trump’s flaky back right now.  We just don’t know.”

Something else we don’t know – If Vinnie Barbarino was Italian, how come he didn’t try to sell everyone bracelets? I kid, I kid, relax, goombas.

What more incredibly unlikely hijinks can Obama get himself up to in the future?  Not to mention during an election season.  We’ll all just have to keep reading, because honestly? Right now a satire page has more credible information than any schizophrenic YouTube-humping conservative with his Trump panties waded up in a bunch.

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