Obamas Planning Huge 9/11 Party


It’s been nearly two decades since the horrifying and calamitous terror attacks of September 11th.  With nearly one-fourth of the amount of Americans killed as by the incompetent response to the Coronavirus, it was a day we swore as patriots we would never forget. In a way, former President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle seem to agree.

Megastar Kirk Cameron doesn’t agree. He thinks parties are the devil’s handjob classes.

Invitations have already been sent for the Obama Family’s Third Annual 9/11 Pajama Jammy Jam, to be held at the couple’s new mansion in northern Illionois.  Featured guests lucky enough to get the nod to come and party include civil rights legend the Reverend Al Sharpton, Hillary and Bill Clinton, Rapper Drake, comedienne Kathy Griffin, and easy-listening music-ruiner Phil Collins.

Sandy Batt, sous-chef of contracted catering company Inside Job Confections has worked the event twice previously, and offered a brief window into the festivities to come.

“It’s really a raucous event.  It usually is scheduled to start at 9, but then the Obama’s text every one a ‘stand down order’ as a gag, and tell them to come at ten.  The food is displayed on a couple of giant serving towers in the mansion’s Boom Boom Room, and when they’re empty, we set them on fire and topple them to everyone’s applause.  The sound stage and DJ set up in a specially constructed ‘cockpit’ facade, and they have this great Nickleback cover band from Saudi Arabia.  They play games like ‘Pin the Tail on My Pet Goat’ and ‘Spin the Pentagon’ for little prizes.  It’s really a great time for everyone.  It’s an event I look forward to working every year.  Plus, they’re great tippers.”

Last year they gave Sean Spicer a hundred bucks to do his impression of Mike Pence at a YMCA exercise room.

Although some nearby conservative neighbors view the yearly celebration unfavorably, and plan on a small protest as they have previously, the party is usually free of any incident and the stuff of political and Hollywood legend.  Drink up, patriotic playpeople, and maybe, just maybe, it might help you forget.

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