Donald Trump is no stranger to frivolous lawsuits. He’s been dragged into court by unpaid contractors and construction companies, forced to pay former students of his fraudulent Trump University, and is currently dealing with over two dozen rape and harrassment cases. He’s always been able to wiggle out of his problems through hushed settlements and intimidation, but this time may be different. Former President and rival Barack Obama has filed multiple suits against him for defamation of character and slander, and he’s brought a high-powered legal team with him.
The Obama legal team contends that Trump continuously pushed a false narrative that the much more competent President wasn’t an American citizen and had falsified his birth certificate, a claim so patently impossible that only waddling simpletons with kanker sores on their rotting genetalia would believe it. Trump also accused his better of not leaving a pandemic response in place upon leaving office, which is an outright lie that only a professional con man would stoop to when people are starting to see that he’s about as smart as a bag of dildoes with no batteries.
Lead Obama prosecutor Joe “Barracuda” Baron promised that the suits were cut and dried.
“Fact – by 2021, Barack Obama will OWN the Trump towers. That fat sack of cowshit isn’t getting out of this one. We’re bound and determined as lawyers to have the fraudulent space case cartoon President end up like Dan Akroyd in the first 45 minutes of ‘Trading Places.’ Donald Trump will be begging for alpo next to the dumpster at a Petsmart when we’re through with him. You want to tell everyone my client hated Israel? Remember that one, tardzilla? You had better start making Ivanka a dot-paper candy necklace for her birthday, because thats all you’re going to be able to afford.”
Obama’s legal team is drawn from such gigantic legal bulworths as Wolfram and Hart, Crane Poole and Schmidt, and New York’s Nelson and Murdock. Could this hurricane of courtroom woes end the reign of America’s most morbidly obese leader? That judgement is yet to be made.