Obama Compound on Full Lockdown After ‘Trump Supporter Threats’

UH OH!

Security forces and secret service operatives instituted a full level-17 lockdown of the Obama Compound in Sandy Batt Lake, Illinois yesterday in response to numerous threats made on social media pages and public comments made exclusively by supporters of *President Donald Trump, reports note.  The Obama family is being kept inside the structure and is under maximum protection at this time.

Ironically, many of the threats made in public were discovered thanks to the Trump administration’s use of military forces within the United States, which many on the left and with any actual knowledge of the constitution have called “fascist.”  Data collected from secret recordings of Trump supporting psychotics during rallies and anti-protests will soon, the FBI assured media sources, result in the arrests and detentions of thousands of these barely literate human refuse vats.

“Ya’ll can’t listen to mah phone iff’n I put it in the same baggie as mah oxi. That’s called “scientisery.”

Infamous mentally-ill celebrity spokesperson Shia LeBouf told the Queefington Post that such behavior from the Trump crowd was not unexpected.

“These are fruitcakes who think there’s a mysterious guy named Q running around busting Tom Hanks for trafficking children.  These are people who think Obama started putting children in cages and is a secret Muslim.  I mean, these are the people that I had to dumb-down the Transformers movies for.  Their Facebook pages are full of violent psychopathic ramblings and they want to throw everyone everywhere in jail for stuff they only see in their imaginations.  It’s no surprise we finally are getting around to rounding these maniacs up and rubber rooming them.  I’m putting a bag on my head.  So Micheal Bay won’t explode me.”

LeBeouf is currently working on a low-budget sequel to the Netflix hit “Birdbox.”

Both Facebook and Twitter have submitted thousands of threatening comments complete with the personal information of the lunatics behind them to authorities, and have promised to fully comply with future ongoing investigations.  It sounds like shouting “Lock him up”, even from the assumed safety of your own outhouse can get any patriotic trumptard his or her own terrible trip to Gitmo.

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