Malia Obama Seen Leaving Stag Party

The truth is right in front of you

Malia Obama gets around more than the Bush girls did. Her family name got her into Harvard but she has not been seen on campus or in any of her classrooms and lecture halls for months.

Rumors persisted that she was hosting wild parties, but her Secret Service detail kept anyone from getting close to her. That all changed last weekend when she managed to elude her security detail and came in through the bathroom window of a house on First Street to get into a stag party.

Paparazzi photographer Art Tubolls explained what he saw.

“She said she’s always been a dancer. Prior to attending Harvard, she worked at 15 clubs a day. When she was inside at the party, I overheard her repeatedly asking ‘Why don’t we do it in the road?‘ followed by ‘No one will be watching us.’ At dawn, someone said ‘Here comes the sun’ and the party ended and everyone began to leave.

Ms. Obama looked like she just woke up, got out of bed, and dragged a comb across her head. It looked like she found her coat and grabbed her hat, then crossed the street in seconds flat. For some reason right after that, Malia was sitting on a cornflake waiting for her van to come.”

As quickly as the van showed up, she had a ticket to ride, her Secret Service detail asked her where wanted to go but she didn’t care. You could see her twist and shout, still drunk and euphoric from all of the fun she had the night before.

Even though they are all thankfully out of the White House, the Obama family legacy of bringing shame to America is still alive and well.

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