Obama Debuts New ‘CopWatcher’ Phone App


Former President Barack Obama has been pretty high-profile lately, seemingly making every attempt to siphon some attention off the news cycle whenever he can.  His latest venture seems specifically timed to coincide with the recent wave of civil unrest affecting the country due to fallout of the murder of an unarmed black man by overzealous and badly trained police officers.  (Again.)

The case is still pending against Sgt. Murtaugh for violating Diplomatic Immunity. Sigh. Two weeks til retirement.

To this end, the massive Obama Foundation is set to premiere it’s new phone app, “CopWatcher”, which is being highly touted as the next multi-million dollar venture in Silicon Valley.  The Obama Foundation, itself worth over eleventy trillion dollars, boasts it’s own private security force, a sixty-six strong fleet of aircraft, and a super sweet S.H.I.E.L.D. issued Helicarrier with a staff of one hundred and fifty combat veterans, including director Sandy “Fury” Batt, who was once white but is now black and much cooler.

Oh yeah? We’ll see what happens to Ultron if he tries to hassle the Hoff with that robot crap. He’ll hand him his ass AND a floor-cheeseburger.

The app, explained Merl Condylomas, the Foundation’s head of Anti-Trump Operations, will instantly activate the user’s personal camera while simultaneously hacking into any nearby police officer’s body cam, providing a split-screen comprehensive view of the activity of nearby law enforcement.   This will provide absolute recorded evidence from two angles of suspected illegal activity, and with a single swipe, video of any incident will be sent directly to the local precinct, the ACLU, and YouTube simultaneously.

While some on the political right are calling it a disgusting “squealer” piece of software, most intelligent Americans have rightly ignored their opinions, knowing that teabagging know-nothing human kanker sores like Trump supporters are consistently stupid and irrational.  But, as the ancient Latins used to say as a warning: “Quo Ipse Custudios Trumptardios?”  “Who Watches the Trumparded?”

Be the first to comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.