Obama to Inaugurate ‘Trayvon Martin Elementary’ School


After the town of Sanford, Florida went through a terrible period of infamy some time ago, it looks like a little honor, respect, and dignity might be just what it needs.  Preparing to open for September’s back-to-school semester, the brand new Elementary school named after murdered black teenager Trayvon Martin is set to be officially named, and that duty will be performed by none other than former President Barack Obama.

Many remember the tale of Martin, who had been wearing his trademark “hoodie” sweatshirt the night he was brutally gunned down by Trump supporting psychopath George Zimmerman.  In possibly the most racist of triumphs ever, Zimmerman was acquitted of the slaying, and went on to become the most idiotic and disgusting piece of human garbage that DNA apparently allows before collapsing in on itself.

Sarah Huckabee being a prime example.

Obama will give a speech at the new institution, which features the most modern and updated equipment and services.  In addition, the floors of the school gymnasium will be filed with images of Zimmerman and Trump’s faces so that students practicing sports will constantly be stepping all over them.  Founders have also decided to remove “under God” from the daily pledge of allegiance simply to enrage the *President’s sensitive shitflake base.

There’s a reason medical students still learn how to do lobotomies.

Friends and family of the young icon will also appear and speak, surrounded by police security forces to guard against any of Trump’s more violent throwback cult members.  Florida is certainly in no short supply of those.  But the ceremony is really about, perhaps, just giving a moment of peace and remembrance to a symbol of hope – hope that someday these horrible racist maniacs will end up like Zimmerman did – an embarrassing footnote.


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