Obama Calls Trump ‘Incompetent Fruitcake’ in Commencement Address

UNBELIEVABLE!

It is nearly unheard of for a former President of the United States to openly critique his sitting successor in the public eye.  Well, Donald Trump is not your normal *President, and Barack Obama is not your normal respectful predecessor.

Obama was chosen to give a virtual commencement address, aired nationwide this past weekend, to the graduating class of 2020, and he just couldn’t stop himself from taking a few shots at Trump, including calling him “an incompetent fruitcake”, among other choice jabs.  The liberal mainstream media has, of course, picked up and ran with the item, seemingly happier to do so than Lindsey Graham finding a bag of dildos at a flea market.

“No batt’ries? I’ll give ya a dollah, and not a penny more, suh!”

Joe Barron of Fox News immediately booked an interview for this Sunday evening’s Sean Hannity show with a Fruitcake, a portion of which, is excerpted here :

Hannity – Do you…feel insulted or honored to be compared to *President Trump?

Fruitcake – Sean, I’m just happy to be out and about, you know, not sitting on that shelf in Hickory Farms.  It’s been years.  My raisins are nearly sour after the last three years, and I’m unfortunate enough to include cranberries, which nearly nobody enjoys.

Hannity – Yes, but Trump literally – literally, now – makes me uncontrollably horny.  Like a Thai ladyboy in front of a dingy pool hall.  Is it the same with you?

Fruitcake – Sean, I’ve been shrink-wrapped and alone for half a decade.  It’s really hard to find someone who hates someone enough to gift them a fruitcake.  I’m excited just to SEE a mouth at any time.  I have way too much clove in me, you know?  I pretty much taste like the air freshener at a Woody Harrelson party.

Fruitcakes were originally invented to torture vegetarians in the 1800s

The *President has responded predictably, with a series of tweets boasting a second-grade vocabulary and inventing more ridiculous conspiracy theories about his vastly superior rival.  He sure does know how to be a triggered little puss.  Maybe Obama will use that one next time.

* Impeached

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