Obama To Give Memorial Day Address From Benghazi Embassy


Former President Barack Obama is one of the most visible and vocal previous leaders in modern American history.  He was tapped for this year’s virtual commencement speech, he often appears on prime time television networks and does interviews with news agencies, not to mention his lucrative deal to develop content for popular streaming service.provider Netflix.  Despite jealous attempts to sideline his more prolific and far more beloved predecessor, Donald Trump seems to have lost his place as the representative face of the United States, if indeed, he ever was.

During her time as Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee was referred to as : “The Face of America Going Upwards at Six Gees.”

Obama now appears to be pushing a handful of pubic hair into *President Trump’s morning bowl of Captain Crunch and stirring it around with glee, by accepting an invitation to speak on Memorial Day, and choosing to do so from the American embassy in Benghazi, Libya, no less.  For many of those who may have forgotten, Beghazi was the site of a terrorist attack that cost the lives of four Americans, which was then flooded with conspiracy theory garbage and misinformation by Fox News and conservative republicans who are somehow not ashamed for making these hero’s sacrifices into a running gag.

Obama chose the particular venue because he hopes to trigger enough of these haplessly shittarded teabagging bumblepigs into fits of hysterical rage that will cause their heads to mimic the climactic scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, Scanners, or The Kingsman, take your pick.  Social media outlets are already preparing their comment sections for piles of long-debunked horseshit from pedantic experts who each know the whole story, despite not being able to point out Libya on a map, ignore the 9 investigations regarding the event, and ninety percent of the time, have a profile picture of themselves taken during the Truman administration.

Many Trump supporters enjoy things dangling in their faces because it reminds them of being in the Tickle Tent at one of the rallies.

The address will be carried at 8 pm on all major media and news networks with the exceptions of Fox, who will instead be showing a 30-minute long continuous shot of Judge Jeanine Pirro’s cleavage meat, and OAN, who will broadcast “Q” YouTube videos upside down.

* impeached

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