It looks like President Barack Obama has one-upped his rival Donald Trump yet again. Besides being the honored recipient of a prestigious Nobel Peace Prize, an accomplishment that Trump can never ever hope to achieve, he will now be presented with his own star on the Hollywood walk of fame in an elaborate celebration next weekend. Although the current *President also is featured on the walk, his star is much older, disheveled, and in a far more obscure location, just outside of a Sixth street liquor store, and bookended by two filthy public urinals.
Sandy Batt, chairperson of the Walk of Fame Starblazers told the press that Obama’s star was a long time coming, and was a response to his runaway constant popularity with normal Americans who appreciated a President who spoke proper English, was competent during a pandemic, and didn’t raw dog porn stars while his wife was pregnant. Obama has made the list for Most Admired Man in the World for several years running, whereas Trump has just barely placed within the top 45 of “Presidents Able to Wash Themselves Without Using a Fire-Hose Extention.” There have been 45 Presidents.
Some conservative pundits have raised objections to the better leader’s honor, citing that the star is a Hollywood honor, and Obama has never appeared in a motion picture or television series, whereas Trump has had his own phony reality show and was immortalized for 4 seconds in the blockbuster hit movie : “Home Alone 2”, not to mention his role in the documentary: “So I Had My Wife Shipped.” But Batt contends that the President who saved the American auto economy and didn’t have a host of public nervous breakdowns after being asked simple questions by the press is popular enough for his beloved contributions to the American zeitgeist alone.
So congratulations to President Obama. I guess the honor will now be restored to a tradition that Trump and his conga line of methamphetamine-riddled elementary school dropouts pissed all over. Sometimes, literally.