Obama Hosts Bill and Hillary’s ‘The Witch is Dead’ Party Celebrating Linda Tripp’s Death

While America hunkers down and listens to President Trump’s recommendations about social distancing, Barack Obama threw a “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” party to celebrate the untimely death of Linda Tripp. Tripp was the woman who took down Bill Clinton and kept him from balancing the budget and worrying about impeachment instead. She died after what doctors called a “suspicious” bout with pancreatic cancer.

The party, at a bourgeois restaurant in DC, was not only tacky and disgusting, but it was also illegal by the city’s own social distancing laws. Washington DC has a Mayor, but it is essentially under Trump’s control in a national emergency. He issued this order a week ago last Thursday:

There shall be no gatherings of more than 10 people unless they are related and living in the same domicile or attending a rally in support of our president. Any other function is hereby illegal and the attendees in violation of federal law. Under USC Title 57 Article 116 Sub-paragraph 6, the crime is punishable by up to one year in prison and a fine of up to $500,000.”

Their little shindig had nearly 40 people, none of whom were related to more than their spouse or the occasional cousin. Our source on the inside, investigative reporter Joe Barron, says the party was as despicable as you might imagine:

“They were playing “Pin the tail on the Snitch” with pictures of poor Linda Tripp. They were prank-calling her family and ordering BOGO meals from Olive Garden. It was really messed up.

“The worst of it was when Nancy Pelosi got there. She brought her federal bar tab and bought the entire bar a shot of Johnny Walker Green. They danced to gether, puffed on the marijuana, and possibly even shared needles full of the dope.

“It was exactly what you’d imagine a party of godless heathens to look like.”

Since they weren’t caught in the act, they couldn’t be charged with a crime. The DC Police Political Investigations Unit says the phot of them partying is either authentic or it was taken during a campaign stop that probably wasn’t in Michigan or Wisconsin in 2016.

The FBI has been asked to investigate. We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

 

About Flagg Eagleton 48 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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