The Clinton Foundation has been on the hunt for fresh, young talent in an effort to compete with the brilliance coming out of the current White House — specifically, the brilliance of Ivanka Trump.
Looking for a hip young lady to be the new face of the foundation, they have now offered an unpaid internship to none other than Malia Obama.
Sandy Batt, spokeswoman for the Clinton Foundation said:
“We are offering this unpaid opportunity to Malia. With her criminal history, love for Starbucks, use of the word ‘yeet,’ and having the name ‘Obama’ we believe she will make our foundation a household name among millennials.”
In our investigation of what an intern at the Clinton Foundation entails, we discovered a laundry list of skills and requirements. Believe it or not, they actually seek out young people who have used drugs. The idea is that if the person they bring on has a “little dirt” that can be used against them in the court of law, they can be influenced to do some murdering.
Further information has come out that the intern workroom inside the Foundation’s fortress actually has what they call the “murder board.” The murder board is used to track the long list of lucky winners the Clintons hope to murder over the next six months.
Malia is thrilled with the opportunity to work with the Clintons and is looking forward to having an endless supply of lattes and weed — mostly the weed, of course.
She will start her new job next Monday.