Obama Stands to Make $8 Million Cashing Stimulus Checks


If you live in Chicago, the greater Illinois area, or large population centers in surrounding states, you may have noticed a glut of brand new check-cashing and payday loan branches opening up in your neighborhood.  Hundreds of these are the result of the Obama Foundation buying up Sandra Batt Enterprises, a chain owner of retail space properties earlier this year.  Consumer Reports noted that these businesses are popping up at the rate of thirty-six every day, especially in low-income areas.

Malia has been pestering her father for months about buying her a new island. The old one has snakes. So grody.

The scam is that many of the needy in these areas are desperately waiting for their Trump welfare checks and lack bank accounts into which they can deposit them.  Obama’s cashing services charge, on the average, a fee of $19.95 per check to exchange them for assets, and unlike a paycheck or personal note, these payments are no-risk, being guaranteed by the federal government.  In other words, the Obamas saw a way to profit from the desperation of a crisis and couldn’t wait to jump right in.

Estimates by Consevative think-tank Blood Money Inc. put the former First Couple’s take at over eight million dollars, tax free, in the first month.  That’s a lot of beer swilling teachable moments for a Kenyan usurper just peacefully retiring after a failed attempt to destroy America.  However this figure may be off, since “Conservative think tank” is often times synonymous with a fat guy in a diaper stuck in an Arco bathroom.


Many pundits question whether this enterprise is entirely legal, since it was, ironically, the Obama administration that went after so-called vulture lenders who charged the poor exorbitant rates to repay short-term loans and set limits on their actions.  But when the country’s in crisis and there’s juicy government bailout cash to be had, i guess it’s “do as I say” and not “do as I overregulate” for number 44 and his family, all of whom, are black.


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