Michelle’s Book To Be $80 Million Netflix Series

UNBELIEVABLE!

Streaming media giant Netflix is no stranger to controversy.  With documentaries like the hugely popular “Tiger King”, original features like “Fuller House”, and an unfortunate deal promising more baby-talk nonsense from Adam Sandler, who hasn’t made a watchable film since “The Wedding Singer”, the service has been known to take great leaps for little payoff.  This time, they’re strapping former first lady Michelle Obama into the proverbial General Lee and aiming her at a terribly broken bridge during a pursuit by America’s Enos.

Hazzard county admits that their 98% broken bridge rate is directly due to Boss Hogg’s massive babyback rib budget.

Now, probably thanks in part to her husband’s ongoing relationship with Netflix, the bestselling author’s book “Becoming” will soon be “becoming” a 6-part series premiering some time in late September, just in time for election season.  The company has thrown 80 million dollars behind it for advertising and production, which is more than four times the amount of Donald Trump Jr.’s monthly cocaine habit.

Sandy Batt, head of competing service Hulu’s Making Shows About White Trash Department, explained the deal:

“Netflix is banking on quantity, basically.  Thanks to the Trump Pandemic, movie theaters are probably a thing of the past.  Disney has their own juggernaut service, and others are quickly gaining ground.  Netflix wants to build a library, as large and fast as it can as a selling point.  The Obama’s have plenty of stories to tell.  If they could just start inventing superheroes Now, that would really help. Like maybe a guy who can control human flesh with his mind.  That would totally rule.  The guy could make a sick misshapen army of blobby misfits with droopy scary faces and winky devil eyes.”

“Well…an acting gig’s an acting gig.”

The Obama’s stand to make a huge profit when the feature succeeds, and they’ll probably use it to continue the takeover of America that they started during Operation : Jade Helm.  Patriots, if you’re asked to watch this dangerous film while black helicopters are landing in your back yard, click the “off” button and run to your fallout shelter.

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