Michelle Obama Officially Endorses Sanders


It looks like cracks are forming in the fabric of what was formerly America’s First Family.  As Joe Biden begins to soar in his bid for nomination to run for President, it’s widely assumed that his formere boss Barack Obama will soon provide him with an endorsement, energizing the liberal voting base.  However, his wife and former First Lady and bestselling author Michelle made an announcement this morning that she is throwing her considerable influence behind admitted Democratic socialist candidate Bernie Sanders.

“I’m right over here. Did you get my texts? Did you get that organic fruit basket? Hello? Michelle? I’m sorry I called you a ‘harpy’, okay?”

Mrs. Obama explained during a press conference that she believed Sanders was a much better choice for Commander-in-Chief, echoing the cries of many of the Vermont senator’s biggest admirers who feel that his progressive ideology would better serve the middle class of Americans.  Close friend and confidant of the acclaimed author, rapper/actress Queen Latifah, had this to say about her friend’s choice to Sean Hannity’s heroin dealer on “Fox and Friends” :

“Look, Michelle is an incredibly smart woman.  And yes, Joe is a great friend of the family.  But he used to come over to the house all the time when Barack was in charge, and mutter on and on about weird old things like Howdy Doody and malt shops and how hot Betty White was ‘back in the day’.  Look, I know a little something about bad decisions.  Did you see my movie ‘Taxi’?  No?  That’s because no one did.  People at the test screening got vomit bags and still lied down and watched the floor instead.  Michelle don’t wanna watch no ‘Taxi’, even if her husband is willing to put on a blindfold.  She wanna watch ‘Avengers.’  And that’s Bernie Sanders.  Peace out.”

One reviewer called it : “Something we should force serial killers to watch while they’re forced to eat mouse feet.”

The endorsement is expected to shake the foundations of the Democratic party’s selection process.  She is beloved by much of the base, and well-respected world-wide.  Could his wife’s sudden detour cause ex-President Obama to change his tune?  There’s still time to decide as the race stumbles on to it’s possible surprise nomination.

Be the first to comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.