Malia Obama Busted in Brussels Pawning Rare Eisenhower Artifact

Malia has been pestering her father for months about buying her a new island. The old one has snakes. So grody.

Malia Obama was busted today in Brussels for taking a very rare Eisenhower artifact she stole from the White House to a pawn shop. It is said that the young Obama has an addiction to Marijuana and is funding her addition anyway she can.

She is currently vacationing in Brussels with a plan to hit Amsterdam in the next day or so. She needed some quick cash for the debauchery she has planned in that sinful place.

Just like any junkie, potheads are driven to get that high, with little regard of who it hurts. It appears the drug has a grip on the girl. But, is it no wonder, really? Look at the parents.

So much for Harvard, huh?

Director of Medical Elements for the Obama Whitehouse, Art Tubollus said:

“Malia has a raging addiction to pot. She is exhibiting the same behaviors as any addict and is pawning stolen items to get her fix.”

The item pawned this time was a timeless piece that belonged to Mamie Eisenhower. Up until just a couple of years ago, this relic was unknown due to its rarity.

This personal item is one of a kind and irreplacable.

Much like Jackie O’s bloodstained dress, or Nixon’s debate handkerchief, Mamie Eisenhower’s thong should have been sent to the Smithsonian Museum for preservation.

Unfortunately, it was hidden in the very back of an old dresser in the basement of the White House. It’s said the Obama girls would sneak down there during their teen years to smoke grass, and that’s how Malia obtained the piece.

About Norbert Heck 8 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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