Obama Presidential Library To Close After Donors Pull Funding

GEE THAT'S TOO BAD.

Jackson Park, Chicago.  The site of the Barack Obama Presidential Center and Library started off as a brand spanking new recreational facility based on the accomplishments and life of America’s 44th President.  With a cost of over two billion dollars, and opened only two years ago, it seems to have been a massive disappointment, and will be closing at the end of February as nearly all of the liberal donors are pulling their funding.

“View” host and ghost whisperer Whoopi Goldberg even took back all her Star Trek bartending tips.

Poor attendence and high building costs seem to be the culprits.  The 20-foot tall “Operation” game in the Hall of Obamacare stands unused, supplied by toy company Hasbro, who admitted that they had joined other sponsors in bailing.  The tweezers require two people to operate.  After a news report surfaced of a senior citizen receiving serious injuries from a flying bit of styrofoam in the “Benghazi Re-Enactment Theater”, the feature was scrubbed and replaced with a shelf holding Sasha and Malia’s third grade swimming trophies.  It’s always seemed like a downward spiral, according to head librarian Michelle Castle :

“It’s always seemed like a downward spiral.  Not the Nine Inch Nails album.  I mean, in real life.  People keep chipping away at the plastic display of the ‘Giant Pallets of Cash Sent to Iran’, and it’s a mess.  Nobody’s cleaned the multisex bathrooms in a month.  Remember the coffee cup he saluted with that one time on Air Force One?  It’s gone, stolen.  But I think that was Hank, the Historian of the ‘Taking Guns Away’ wing.  He’s German, and drinks weird coffee in the morning with mustard in it.  So yeah.  We got problems.”

It’s a great game if you want to teach your kid that punching you in the balls enough will make your nose light up.

Although the permanent closure of the facility hasn’t yet been made public information, it’s a sad reminder that bigger isn’t always better.  Let’s hope and pray that President Trump remembers that, and maybe just goes with a corner McDonald’s franchise attatched to a pornographic newsstand.

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