A Waitress Took A Straw From Malia Obama And Had It DNA Tested

A waitress at a restaurant in Harvard Square in Cambridge took matters into her own hands recently, shedding light on whether or not Malia Obama is actually a blood relative to her “parents,” Barack and Michelle. She took a straw used by the young Obama woman and spent her own money to have it DNA tested by one of those ancestor websites.

What she learned is staggering:

“I thought I’d find out that she was maybe half Obama or something, but the results were way more interesting. According to the test, there’s no evidence that Malia Obama is related to anyone from either side of that family tree.

“It says her ancestry is Sudanese, not Kenyan, and that there’s no white Hawaiian in there at all. When compared to her parents‘ DNA, there’s nothing to suggest they’re even remotely related.”

The website’s response was pretty straightforward:

“We can’t directly connect this DNA to any other DNA from the girl’s alleged family. There are two possible reasons for that. Either they aren’t related or we don’t have the family’s DNA on file. Since all public servants have to submit DNA samples to access the White House swimming pool, the second scenario seems unlikely.”

The proof is in the pudding, folks, and this pudding says it’s far more likely that Malia Obama is descended from the Sudanese Johnsons rather than the Kenyan Obamas. It’s science.

That means that Obama and his wife lied to the American people and to Congress and should be tried and convicted and have all of their assets seized. It wouldn’t be fair to let them get away with something this horrible while President Trump faces charges of collusion, bribery, and public lewdness.

Our founding fathers put steps in place to deal with this kind of corruption. Hopefully the Republican Senate will take up the issue and investigate it just like they did with Benghazi and the email scandal that rocked the world in 2015.

About Flagg Eagleton 39 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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