Sasha Obama Arrested for 7 Felonies in Kuala Lampur

Sasha Obama has proven herself to be just right for the family legacy. Within months of turning 18, the youngest Obama daughter has been caught now breaking the law no less than a dozen times. Earlier today, word came down from our sources in Thailand that Sasha has been charged with seven felonies in Kuala Lampur.

The capital city of Kamar-Taj, Kuala Lampur is known for illegal sales of mystical arts and relics. Ms. Obama was caught red-handed stealing the toe knuckles from the corpse of a 7000-year-old monk. She was charged with one count of theft for each of the toes and one count of conspiracy to steal religious relics.

After processing, Obama was sent to “El Pozo de la Desesperaci√≥n,” where she’ll have to stay until either her father or her prince come to bail her out. According to family spokesman, Art Tubolls”

“This is no big deal. It was a complete misunderstanding. Sasha was just out with friends when they stumbled on an ancient crypt and grabbed a few things. She’s already returned the toes and has been informed that the curse she’s earned will likely outlive her.”

The official word in Kamar-Taj is that the girl will be banished for life for her crimes rather than prosecuted or imprisoned and that the $118 million in bail will be considered an offering to the Time Stone.

While some might find that fair, some of us think she’s getting off way too light and should spend some quality time behind bars.


About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 74 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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