New $150 Million Obama Mansion Infested With Western Blumpkin Fleas


There’s an old Latin phrase that every shopper should keep in mind on their travels.  Caveat emptor.  It means “Let the buyer beware.”  Well, according to building inspectors in the small suburb of Pico Pene, California where the Obamas just purchased their new 150 million dollar mansion, it might be more useful for Malia to Google translate up the Latin for : “Daddy, there’s blumpkin fleas all over my pillow!”

Of course, it looks like their pillows are already damaged beyond repair.

Known for its acrid odor and bizarre mating habits, the Western Blumpkin Flea, or Napeness Skypalmis is fairly common to areas of California and Oregon, and can carry a number of infectious diseases.  A complete infestation of a regular-sized family home is often a nightmare of disinfection.  With a mansion the size of Obama’s, with 12 bathrooms, twice as many bedrooms, a full-sized movie theater, and an indoor regulation basketball court, the work to sterilize the estate enough for livability could easily take until 2022.

Maybe their next-door neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Addams will let them crash for a bit. THEY have a butler.

So what happens now?  Do the Obamas just scrape up enough money to head to the nearest Motel 6?  It’s not like they can go back to being lawyers.  Maybe the kids can put their college educations to use and get jobs stamping out Bernie Sanders bumper stickers for $15 an hour.  Maybe they can ask Auntie Hillary for a loan.  They just better remember to pay it back.  We wouldn’t want any “accidents” to happen…

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