Obama Starts GoFundMe For New Yacht

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Former President Barack Obama has it all.  Money, power, a deal with Netflix, a loving family, and the respect of the world.  What he doesn’t have, and badly wants, however, is a yacht.

And a jetpack. But that’s for when Black Friday rolls around.

The Fugazi of Benghazi has started up a GoFundMe crowd funding campaign to raise the money necessary for his dream to come true.  If you’re wondering why he can’t bring himself to use his own money to pay for it, you aren’t alone.  Obama’s personal financial manager Eileen Yooblow explains :

“The idea here is that all the people who donate will be part of a exploratory cruise that the Obama’s and guests will be taking.  The cruise ends at a destination where we have confirmed through top secret information, we will find the lost city of Atlantis.  When we plunder it for its gold and riches, 10% of it all will be divided into ten parts, one of which will be sent to donors as a reward.  The President just wants to give every eager American a chance to profit!”

One lucky donor will also receive the copy of “Can’t Stop the Music” that Biden left at the house one time, babbling : “You GOTTA see this! It’s by the guy who directed GREASE!”

The campaign is already up and running, so if you’re interested in getting in on the ground floor of a fantastical exploratory investment, act now before your libtard neighbor ends up with all of Poseidon’s booty!

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