The 13th Federal Court of Writs and Warrants has cleared the path for Barack Hussein Obama to be tried for treason. According to the unanimous three-judge ruling, if private citizen Barack Obama committed crimes, he can be prosecuted, regardless of his position when he held them.
That means no more hiding behind “Executive Privilege” or claiming you can’t press charges against a President. You’re not a President anymore. The court agrees.
It will now be up to the Justice Department to see to any charges. According to department spokesman, Art Tubolls:
“Obama can now be charged with treason on 7 counts, including offering foreign aid to the Musselman Brotherhood and sanctioning Islam in the White House. His high crimes and misdemeanors also include saluting with an object in hand, forced servitude of an officer when he made a Marine hold his umbrella, and the wearing of tan after Labor Day before Labor Day.
The American people also want him to answer for Benghazi, Libya, Syria, Narnia, and Yemen, as well as the prayer curtains in the East Room. We won’t forget how much cash he gave Iran or how many uraniums they got in exchange for our secrets.”
The case against Obama could take years to build, according to our sources, and will most likely cost close to $30 million. In the end, Tubolls says they “expect very little,” but that the endeavor is noble because lots of people really just don’t like the guy.